Confessions of a (Struggling) Actress by Jo Bloggs

Author:Jo Bloggs [Bloggs, Jo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Acting
Publisher: Big Finish Productions, Ltd.
Published: 2012-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

12. The Audition Files / Reality TV Try-Outs

1.00 pm

The reality TV personality: how can we compete?

Quite frankly we can’t. So if you can’t beat them, join them, as my nan used to say. Probably not the best phrase to go by if you’re, say, a soldier and the punishment for desertion is execution. But in this particular instance, it’s the advice I’m sticking with.

So here I find myself, queuing up for a chance to take part in the search for a new star. I am no stranger to open auditions, and this process is basically the same—only this time there’s a camera stuck in your face and someone is asking you to do daft things like scream and wave at it.

* Have I ever really wanted to play this role? Not particularly—though of course I’d never say no. I couldn’t say no.

* Do I have a burning ambition to be a TV name? Nope.

* Do I want to audition live, on TV, every week, be scrutinised by the public and be voted for in a system that leaves the most unpopular with nothing but humiliation? Most definitely not. But alas, here I am.

This idea, this process of the public choosing their leading man or lady, has taken the industry and divided it down the middle. Half of the industry is so against it you can see bitterness rise like the West End curtain at 7.30 pm. They are outraged that experienced, talented theatre actresses are being asked to go through this process just to get to a round that would usually be their preliminary round. Auditioning alongside those who haven’t trained is considered to be a slight slap in the face.

Others are more philosophical about it—like me. I can see how this TV show will benefit the industry as a whole. It will bring the world of musical theatre into people’s homes, maybe people that wouldn’t necessarily see themselves as theatregoers. This will surely put more of those very important bums on those red velvet seats, making this beloved industry thrive like never before.

But I’m still embarrassed. I haven’t told anyone how I’m spending my day, except for my friend who’s come with me to audition. I know I will see a few familiar faces—including those who have made a point of dismissing the whole TV series. I don’t think I’m the only one who finds it hard turning down an opportunity, no matter how slim the chance of success.

2.30 pm

We keep our heads down and our conversation low. I’m in the middle of a long queue that snakes around several times. In and out swarm several sets of camera crews, looking for their next target. By no means do we want to be caught on camera, and our entire morning consists of dodging out of the way of the crews so as not to be seen.

One camera crew interviews a girl a mere metre away from us. Most probably, she’s been picked for her outfit—a large, round summer hat and red polka-dot dress.

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